Where are you Christmas?

My pet, my love, my life....it's been a while since we talked and I'm sorry. Things have been happening and I'm struggling a bit tonight on this Christmas eve 2022. I feel like I need to have a good hard cry but I just can't seem to allow it. I lost my sweet Indigo as you seen by the last post. It shattered me so much because he deserved better so much more love, but God had other plans and I know he's with you safe and whole until I come home to you. Then mom had a stroke......December 11, 2022. It shook us all and yet I dealt alone as always. It could've been so much worse than it was and I'm grateful she is still her being her typical obnoxious self. She lost some mobility on her right side but in time she'll get it back. So I guess with back to back heartbreak is why I'm struggling. I can't feel the magic.......have I lost it? Where are you Christmas why can't I feel you? My pet I just have no joy in this winter and I need it oh do I need to feel it to just feel......alive. It's just hard to feel anything right now but I wish I could. I miss him, I miss them all, but oh I miss you so. Skylar is still here and I'm grateful for that. In all this insanity she keeps me going until I can feel again. Now though I'm rambling incoherently so I guess I'll say goodnight my darling. Merry Christmas to all of you and know my heart longs for you for all of you........my heart my love my thoughts forever yours

My Indigo Grey

Dear Indigo,

My sweet sweet boy. For the last 2 years you were mine. No words can fully describe the love I had for you and how much joy you brought to my life. I am so sorry that you were dealt such harsh blows before you found me and I'm so very sorrry I couldn't save you and give you more time to know love and safety. My heart is shattered to pieces but deep down keeping you would've been selfish of me and not what was best for you. I hope you forgive me for letting go and that you shall remember how much I love you and how much I always will. I miss you so much and always will. Knowing you're not in pain will hopefully bring me comfort some day but for now I grieve and wait for the tears to stop. Rest peacefully and fly high my sweet angel........

All my love forever and always.........

Please respect my privacy and let me be alone to grieve this loss because I'm shattered beyond words

Indigo Grey 11/26/22