My pet I think you're the one who will appreciate this post the most because I'm sticking up for myself.......so here's the facts.........My name is Amy. I am a 35 year old woman, I am not a child nor am I a young adult therefore I wish not to pretend to be or to act as something I'm not. I choose me and will respect myself at all costs even if it means losing people from my life. I am a changed person and the things I used to do to please people I no longer desire those behaviors. You need examples.....fine......here they are....I won't pretend to be young because I'm not, I will not go outta my way to make someone happy only to be miserable myself I had two unhappy marriages by doing that. I will not be the girl who is only valued for sex and her body, I will only be valued for my mind and personality cause I've done played that part and I felt cheap. So yes I will constantly try to stop anyone from making me feel that way again. Yes I tend to fall into old habits and start acting and behaving with people how I think they want me to so they'll like me and that's something I'm desperately trying to stop. Those are enough examples for now. I will also be determined to stop people from leading me on and playing with my heart it's still fragile as I am still learning who this new me is. I need respect and understanding. I need support and to be accepted as I am. I don't want to be falsely thought of or treated as something I'm not. I need people to willingly let me voice myself without getting angry, upset, or hurt by it cause if you do then let me go because I'm not changing myself for anyone ever again. This is me, my life, my time to finally live and be happy with who I am and to speak up for myself without always getting negative attitudes. I want true adult relationships, I really think I need that. There's too much youngsters in my life that I need adult connections and yes I'm looking at my options and getting a plan in place that will be best for me. This is all for me and what's best for me. If some day I find myself open and willing to be involved with someone then I want true commitment not just be one of many who get flirted with. I will want total honesty and support. I would expect to be wanted for me and not what's on my body. I would hope they will understand and accept my limitations to what I'm comfortable with and what makes me uncomfortable, that being said is why ultimately I think for me a single solitary life is the only life for me. It's just getting people to see that I'm quite happy with that because by judging this post, it's obvious people expect outta me things I can not give. It is what it is, life has changed me drastically and that is the biggest fact of all. Those who once knew me really don't know me at all now. It's just frustrating right now but it will pass. Ok I think I've vented enough to calm down. Thank you my pet for listening to me, I really don't know what I'd do without you my greatest treasure. Till next time.......
